Ha ha ha, I can write, I know I can, better than lot more people I know, No one can write mushy love letters better than me, I have written and used it to my own advantage.....
Men may have a little sentiment but then can be bend to a womens wish....provided the woman is intelligent enough (rolf rolf rolf).......more or less like me......Just wish I had the beauty to match my brain and talent....but then perhaps I would get noticed more and all my weirdness would be unnatural to a lot of people....
how many of you out there have ever written a genuine, quill-and-parchment, mailed-with-a-stamp and sealed-with-a-kiss love letter? That’s what I thought.How many has written without tender salutation or a valediction......it reaches out and still touch the core of the heart.....But for how long God only knows.........
Anyways, my mushy letter....here is goes.....
"I don't know how to start and how to proceed writing this letter…I have so many things to say but I am losing words.I even know before writing this letter what your answer will be.
But still I need your answer because I need this answer which will be my destiny and Gods way of guiding me.I have to accept it and I need to be absolutely sure that I couldn't do anything more before I proceed.
I don't think I can forget you, everytime a new prospect comes up I start compereing him with you, and know what everytime I feel I don't need anything in life but to be with you.Yes, Subhadeep, I want to witness your life, I want to see you grow old,I want u to be there when ur son is born, I want u to design our bunglow and I want be there with u till I die.I don't want anything so badly in my life.I remember you had told me that once if it is a no it always will be a no and if it's a yes it can't re reverted back also.Still I said no, because deep inside I had this feeling that if we are ment to be together nothing can stop that.If you are my soulmate, and I am yours .No dieaster can do us apart.Guess I was half right, u reallly were my soulmate. When we first chatted for hours I didn't realize it, when we met in Delhi I didn't realize it,when we talked for hours I didn't realize it……it's now when I have not heard your voice for months, when I have no way of knowing whats going on in your life…it's now I feel that my destiny is giving me signs that we were ought to be together..
Yes, our ways of looking at things may be totally different, our thought processes, our maturity level are on totally different pages but I found that interesting enough to gain others perspective which is completely different from mine, and this process of knowing could never cease to be appease for the next 30 years, it'd be a source of conversation for the rest of the life, but I know our thoughts are different on this too.For me it's not of any use to live with a person who thinks just same,talks same and doesn't say a sentence but 'exactly' to my each and every word.I would perhaps die of boredom living with such a person.
I thought about it, tried to analyze it, why was I feeling like that for you, there are so many men out there whom I can get married to, why you? why u particularly?…is it just an infatuation, is it an obsession or is it only my possesive nature?Why cannot I let you go and have a happy future with whomever u might choose……then suddenly it struck me that I think about you all day, I find similarity in people in everyday life, I suddenly realised that I value u so much.and then it's a concoction of all those feelings.And this is a bond which both sides should have to make a relationship work through rough times.But like everything onesided things wouldn't workout with just one persons involvement.And things would eventually die out.I know you have absolutely no feelings for me, perhaps you hate me the most now.
You had asked me to call kakima, when I called her she overflowed me with the same fondness again, which made me so greedy, I just got scared I started to dream again which is not possible anymore.
I know like u said, life doesn't stop for anyone, if not your life I will witness someone elses, if not a son I'll be there to withness someone when his daughter is born, if not a bunglow I will still be happy in a small shelter,if not delhi I'll die in some halfknown town....but the saddest part for me will be if not you it'll be someone else.
I know you inside out, I know there's special someone in your life, I know what your answer will be, just mete it out so harsly and badly I can put u on my ignore list.So that I can hate you for the rest of my life but it'll only be a part of my self defence mechanism.Nothing to do with you personally.But I really really need to hate you to go forward in my rest of life and make a decent future out of it.And I need your help on that as it seems its very difficult for me to hate you."
